AHS Seasons, ranked

Ryan Murphy will pay for his crimes one of these days!

One thing about me is: I love a good list. Tier list, ranking lists, I love it all.

American Horror Story was famously originated by Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk, co-creators of other iconic shows like Glee, Scream Queens, and Pose. American Horror Story is ridiculously campy and self-indulgent, combining classic horror tropes with, well, Glee.

Now, I personally think that Ryan Murphy is a little freak, and Brad Falchuk is questionable. Creating a show like AHS didn’t just happen with those two men. I’m sure a lot of the show’s success can be attributed to other writers, casting directors, the cast itself, and producers. But when Murphy & Falchuk are good together, they’re really good. And we have them to thank for catapulting the careers of some spectacular actors.

Transparently: I have not seen every season of AHS, so this ranking will only include the nine seasons I have viewed. (We are missing Double Feature, NYC, and 1984 — the last I did watch two episodes of, but never continued because if there’s no Evan Peters, I’m not seated!) Also, this is obviously very subjective.

9. DELICATE (2024)

   

   I watched Delicate earlier this year, and what is there even to say about it? This is Murphy at his worst, his least original, his most repetitive. This is Emma Roberts at her most insufferable - one of the least dynamic protagonists I have ever come across in any franchise or film. This is Kim Kardashian confirming why she should stick to creating shapewear. This is literally a knockoff of Rosemary’s Baby, as well as literal recycling of seasons one and eight of this very show. I find gay men’s obsession with pregnancy so uninteresting. Don’t waste your time watching this one, if you were considering it!

8. FREAK SHOW (2014)

   

   I think season four of AHS suffered for many reasons. Coming off of three truly incredible seasons, Freak Show had a lot to live up to - unfortunately it fell flat.

   Freak Show follows a troupe of carnival “freaks” in Jupiter, Florida in the year 1952. Highlights include Evan Peters singing “Come As You Are,” Evan Peters being hot the whole season, and Sarah Paulson’s triumphant performance as conjoined twins.

   One of the biggest missteps in Freak Show is the character of Elsa Mars. This protagonist does nothing with the powerhouse talent of Jessica Lange, especially directly following her portrayal of Fiona Goode in Coven.

   This season also fails due to another common theme we see across AHS: a lack of direction, and too many episodes. Honestly, every single AHS season starts out incredibly strong and loses steam about halfway through. Freak Show, however, falls off even earlier. I guess I’ll avoid spoilers by saying — the more interesting villain is discarded quite early. A lot of the characters’ storylines lack depth. Finn Wittrock’s performance as Dandy Mott, a deranged man-child, is well-done but also painful. I think Freak Show is ambitious and stylish, but half-baked. Also, Matt Bomer gets killed in an upsetting way :(

7. ROANOKE (2016)

   

   Roanoke is season six of AHS, and one of the seasons that I personally watched for the first time this year, and not back when it was airing. I had always avoided this season because I found the format to be off-putting.

   Roanoke is a “show-within-a-show” concept, and it was actually done quite well. I’m ranking it this low partially because it was fucking frightening. Of course, it’s meant to be horrifying. But this season provides some of the wildest slasher content the show has ever seen - and that isn’t really my thing.

   Kathy Bates shines in this season as an insane actor who can’t separate her real-life self from her character as the murderous leader of the Lost Colony, only to get her head cleaved in by the ghost of that very woman, played by Lady Gaga. What a sentence. Another reason this season is ranked low is because Cuba Gooding Jr. is one of the protagonists in most episodes, and that man is a sexual predator!

6. ASYLUM (2012)

   

   Much like a musician’s sophomore album, an anthology show’s second season is make or break. Asylum did not suffer from the sophomore slump, but rather produced some of the most iconic characters from this entire franchise. Bloody Face, Sister Mary Eunice, and Lana Winters… just to name a few.

   In the interest of being fair, I will say Asylum is the only season I have not rewatched recently, so it’s less fresh in my mind. When I watched this season in my sophomore year of high school (which was definitely a slump, teehee) I was SPOOKED.

   Set in the haunted Briarcliff Asylum in the year 1964, we follow the authoritarian and brutal reign of Sister Jude, played by Jessica Lange. Asylum is creepy, and jam-packed with every horror you can imagine. This season has everything. Aliens, Nazis, the devil, Bloody Face ( who is a ripoff of Silence of the Lambs, but whatever) and randomly — Adam Levine?

   Sarah Paulson truly broke out as a star in this season with her portrayal of Lana Winters, donning the quintessential quote “He’s escaping! The killer is escaping!”

5. APOCALYPSE (2018)

   

   The eighth season of AHS is underrated. Think of it as the AHSCU — American Horror Story Cinematic Universe.

   A crossover season, Apocalypse (messily) ties up loose ends from Murder House and Coven, with a subtle callback to Hotel as well. A season that feels like pure fan service, Apocalypse brings back many familiar faces like Jessica Lange, Connie Britton, and Dylan McDermott, even if just for an episode.

   The season opens with the classic nuclear nightmare, but quickly reveals itself to be much more. I think Apocalypse is convoluted, silly, and falls victim to the previously stated issue of AHS seasons losing steam halfway through. Regardless, I find it thoroughly entertaining despite the unraveling, ridiculous plot.

   Part of the beauty of the season was the introduction of newcomer Cody Fern as the Antichrist, otherwise known as Michael Langdon.

   

   I would let him fuck me and kill me. I’m so serious. (I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I let my mother read this and she got very upset and said I needed disclaimer so— I am kidding. I do not want to be killed.) This season is ranked high because of him, let’s be real.

4/3. COVEN (2013)

What can I say about Coven that hasn’t already been said? AHS’ third season took risks by really honing in on campiness, and the risks paid off. Coven has been solidified as probably the most iconic and well-known season of the show, donning so many quotes such as:

“Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.” - Madison Montgomery

“Balenciagaaaaaaaaaaa" - Myrtle Snow

“What is this, knotty piiiiiine?” - Fiona Goode

This season has a lot going on — witches, magic, witch hunters, voodoo princesses, insane racism, New Orleans lore, frat boys, Patti LuPone, etc.

I think Coven’s biggest issue is a lack of direction, because the various plots and villians all get (seemingly) wrapped up towards the last few episodes in a way that leaves something more dramatic to be desired.

I also think, unlike every other season, Coven has a weak and cringy first episode. Sorry!

3/4. CULT (2017)

Anyone who knows me knows how much I adore Cult. In the seventh season, AHS steps entirely away from the supernatural and focuses on something much more terrifying: United States politics. Specifically the political aftermath of 2016. Taking place in the swing state of Michigan, Cult focuses on a smaller city soon to be terrorized after the election, with Sarah Paulson’s protagonist Ally right at the center.

This season is also hilariously campy, and somewhat literal in its interpretations of fear in politics, but I think that the writers and actors triumphed with this political satire. Juxtaposing more killer clowns alongside famous cult leaders, you never know what’s coming next in this season. Performances by Billy Eichner and Billie Lourd are highlights.

Evan Peters is a revelation as Kai Anderson, a wunderkind, adderall-popping sociopath incel obsessed with reactionary politics and Donald Trump. Peters is actually remarkable in this role. I feel like you can literally see him pushing himself harder and more intensely than ever before. Kai is a nuanced character, and balancing his traumatic family history with his present-day-descending-into-madness antics is not easy to do.

Sorry, but I need him in a way that is quite literally concerning to feminism. Greasy blue hair and all.

Not only does Peters portray Kai Anderson, but he also takes on the challenge of briefly embodying other cult leaders such as Jim Jones and Charles Manson. His range is so fucking impressive and those scenes are outright scary.

Finally, Cult actually wraps up in a coherent way, even if there were some tangents and weird character choices

2. HOTEL (2015)

   

   A lot was riding on season five of AHS, given that Jessica Lange was not returning. And not only is Hotel one of the best ensemble casts I’ve ever watched, but they also managed to pull off an insanely dynamic season without the queen herself. Lady Gaga rose to the occasion and filled the absence left by Lange.

   Convoluted and filled with flashbacks, Hotel adapts a similar premise to Murder House in that most of the horrors take place within the confines of a singular, haunted building — the Hotel Cortez in downtown LA. We follow multiple storylines spanning centuries of cliches and classic murder tales.

   Matt Bomer dancing to “Hotline Bling” is so important to me. Bomer takes on his first leading role in the AHS series, and his bloodlusty chemistry alongside Lady Gaga makes their scenes so much fun.
   

   Dennis O’Hare has played a lot of irredeemable villains in this franchise. Season five gives O’Hare the opportunity to be soft, playing the lovable Liz Taylor, in a truly show-stopping performance.

   Evan Peters as James Patrick March (the hotel’s original builder, inspired by serial killer H.H. Holmes) is some of the best acting I’ve ever seen. You can tell that so much work went into developing this character. The voice, the characterization… it’s so different from anything Peters had shown in the series thus far. March is somehow so hilarious (and attractive - wait, who said that?) while being the most murderous, sadistic character in the ensemble - thanks to both the writers and Peters’ portrayal of him.

   

   Watch this video if you want to giggle.

   My favorite episode of this season (and the best one, IMO) is episode four: Devil’s Night. I’ve often rewatched just this episode around Halloween. The ghost of Mr. March invites the ghosts of other famous serial killers to the Hotel Cortez on Devil’s Night, 10/31, the only night ghosts can roam free, as the story goes.

   We watch an evening dinner meal with Aileen Wuornos, Richard Ramirez, Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, the Zodiac, and more. Lily Rabe’s Wuornos is genuinely incredible and so memorable. The whole episode is a trippy fever dream. It’s campy and it gives a bit of a wink/wink to true-crime lovers, but in true AHS fashion, it definitely remains disturbing.

1. MURDER HOUSE (2011)

   

   You can’t outdo the doer! You literally cannot outdo the doer. Thank you for reading. I will leave you with these iconic quotes: